they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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