Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
