dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
