My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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