He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
