He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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