R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
