Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
