She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
