Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
