Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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