bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
