Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm so fucking centered right now

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  (407): I'm so fucking centered right now http://tfl.nu/fs64
  Replies (3) Good night (1576) Bad night (671)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

  (716): View more from New York

  i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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  (630): bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face. (716): i dont this its possible to queef on command. http://tfl.nu/u9ov
  Replies (90) Good night (1059) Bad night (2979)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is

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  (301): she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is http://tfl.nu/mseg
  Replies (21) Good night (4629) Bad night (1170)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator

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  (469): you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator http://tfl.nu/bsby
  Replies (21) Good night (7448) Bad night (1770)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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  (318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3
  Replies (11) Good night (4032) Bad night (1049)
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  (631): View more from New York

  At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

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  (631): At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you? http://tfl.nu/rik1
  Replies (5) Good night (3832) Bad night (1014)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea

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  (828): yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea http://tfl.nu/why3
  Replies (9) Good night (2332) Bad night (1346)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

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  (501): Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money. http://tfl.nu/efs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2418) Bad night (846)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She's just so happy...and so naked.

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  (303): She's just so happy...and so naked. http://tfl.nu/5upc
  Replies (3) Good night (2962) Bad night (655)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

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  (651): Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it. http://tfl.nu/j2gr
  Replies (5) Good night (1619) Bad night (658)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid

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  (406): Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid http://tfl.nu/t6fb
  Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.

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  (563): The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers. (1-563): I desperately wanted to wear your shirt. http://tfl.nu/ni9x
  Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.

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  (307): Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too. http://tfl.nu/aq9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (476)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?

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  (719): Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night? http://tfl.nu/cfrc
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (304)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.

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  (908): She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters. http://tfl.nu/dcrj
  Replies (4) Good night (396) Bad night (380)

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