this beer tastes like vomit already
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?