Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..

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(561): I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho.. http://tfl.nu/ry7a

Replies (6) Good night (680) Bad night (1332)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.

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(617): his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family. http://tfl.nu/jlgb

Replies (4) Good night (572) Bad night (4036)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.

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(201): I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot. http://tfl.nu/7j37

Replies (13) Good night (6357) Bad night (806)
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(269): View more from Michigan

I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.

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(269): I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck. http://tfl.nu/534s

Replies (10) Good night (5564) Bad night (979)
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(316): View more from Kansas

My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.

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(316): My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch. http://tfl.nu/qemq

Replies (15) Good night (1228) Bad night (4277)
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(716): View more from New York

For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.

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(716): For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st. http://tfl.nu/kimy

Replies (6) Good night (2003) Bad night (652)
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(408): View more from California

Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission

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(408): Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission http://tfl.nu/3kcn

Replies (6) Good night (2015) Bad night (598)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle

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(517): I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle http://tfl.nu/r9wf

Replies (5) Good night (551) Bad night (1826)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.

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(337): Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday. http://tfl.nu/gphh

Replies (1) Good night (985) Bad night (483)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted

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(919): Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted http://tfl.nu/7mo3

Replies (2) Good night (1564) Bad night (556)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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(616): Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds http://tfl.nu/472x

Replies (9) Good night (1214) Bad night (550)
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(818): View more from California

Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.

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(818): Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless. http://tfl.nu/rncw

Replies (6) Good night (910) Bad night (336)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i came so hard i kicked through my windshield

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(215): i came so hard i kicked through my windshield http://tfl.nu/sfns

Replies (8) Good night (2377) Bad night (432)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear

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(717): Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear http://tfl.nu/2cuy

Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (468)
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(903): View more from Texas

Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??

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(903): Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate?? http://tfl.nu/wozc

Replies (6) Good night (662) Bad night (258)

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