Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance