Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

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  (847): just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame' http://tfl.nu/un7j
  Replies (16) Good night (4003) Bad night (4068)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?

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  (651): how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting? http://tfl.nu/ew93
  Replies (29) Good night (5113) Bad night (983)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window

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  (704): I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window http://tfl.nu/ly7e
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (4209)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons

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  (202): all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons http://tfl.nu/n087
  Replies (15) Good night (6400) Bad night (915)
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  (718): View more from New York

  He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.

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  (718): He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race. http://tfl.nu/hbzv
  Replies (28) Good night (6179) Bad night (1104)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

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  (315): I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy" http://tfl.nu/ekfn
  Replies (9) Good night (1480) Bad night (3960)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

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  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (996) Bad night (1211)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  That was beautiful.

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  (775): True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate. (1-775): That was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/d63d
  Replies (4) Good night (1570) Bad night (1029)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.

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  (425): Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am. http://tfl.nu/noe3
  Replies (1) Good night (1559) Bad night (478)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?

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  (405): Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it? http://tfl.nu/wmow
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (439)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...

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  (541): After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video... http://tfl.nu/lvkq
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (677)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's your ideal size in a man?

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......

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  (317): What's your ideal size in a man? (765): I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow...... http://tfl.nu/zo79
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (420)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.

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  (702): I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ. http://tfl.nu/vjli
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (383)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time

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  (954): I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time http://tfl.nu/1q0v
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns

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  (703): Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns http://tfl.nu/cgxv
  Replies (15) Good night (519) Bad night (288)

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