Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape