It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.