You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops