I don't think brook has ever known best
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
