i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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