Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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