You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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