We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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