I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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