Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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