I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
