just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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