Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
