Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
