you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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