Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
