Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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