I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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