I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize