Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
