some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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