He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
