Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize