with your own penis?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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