You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize