i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
