Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
