I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
