he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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