It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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