normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
