I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
