Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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