just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
