well I can't set my house on fire every night
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize