i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize