i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
