that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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