the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
