So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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