just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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