i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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