So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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