She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize