too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
