dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
