Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
