Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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