i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
