life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
