Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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