Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
