the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
